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How to Stop Fear from Ruining Your Confidence




The “it’s-only-in-your-mind-treatment” of fear presumes that it doesn’t exist. It exists inside our heads, made-up, and often irrational. However, for most people, fear is real. Fear stops people from making the most out of opportunities. They stop benefiting from good experiences. It becomes an infection; fear can wear down your energy; it can make you feel sick; it forces your mouth to shut up when you want to speak. Fear drains your happy hormones. Fear can make you stop being confident, and it steals every ounce of confidence you have. Fear also prevents you from getting what you want in life.

Arguably, fear is a dominant force. It can be your number one enemy towards achieving success. In contrast, successful people are often viewed as fearless, but in reality, they all have their fears, worries, tensions, and panic. What differentiates them from the rest of the flock? They can acknowledge their fear face to face and never hide from it.

Confident, successful people are the ones who “don’t give it another thought” when it comes to their fears. They specialize in compartmentalizing their thoughts and prioritize healthy emotions. All of us deal with our worries differently, but how can you stop fear from ruining your confidence?

1. Identify Your Fear.

Cliche as it can be, the first thing you need to do is identify what scares you the most. You need to have a clear understanding of yourself. It begins by asking empowering questions. Does speaking in front of people make you want to vomit? Do you tremble when you present an idea? Do you space out when you are giving your business pitch? Ask yourself over and over, knowing your Achilles heel is the first step toward reconciling your emotions. Isolate your fear. Corner it, pin it down, and beat it to the punch. Determine what is it exactly you are afraid of. Every action doesn’t have to be significant.

2. Create An Action Plan.

There is always some action to take down any fear. Make your best effort to list down all of your fears and create a countermeasure. Do you fear people will judge you because of your looks? Go to a salon, exercise, use some products to improve your looks, wear your best clothes. Do you fear your client will fire you soon? Make sure to give value to your services all the time. Don’t give them reasons to stop working with you. Do you fear to lose your investment? Do your research, analyze all the data and factors. Ask help from experts which investments you should get rid of. You see, for every kind of fear, there’s an action. Action cures fear. It helps your brain to be in a “solution-ready state” instead of being scared of the possibilities, you become more resilient and knowledgeable of what course action you need to make.

3. Compartmentalize Then Take Action.

Your brain, ego, or that limiting, the fearful part within will try to tell you always to prioritize your fear. Stop paying attention to these negative emotions. Start by training your brain to deposit good memories and separate bad ones. Highlight good experiences that make you feel confident, alive, and happy. Deposit it to your memory bank and make sure to withdraw once you think your confidence is fading. This kind of practice allows you to counter unpleasant, embarrassing and discouraging situations. Don’t dwell on the negative aspect of the situation, start remembering memories that helped you overcome your fears. It can’t be achieved in a single night. You have to make it a habit, always to highlight positive and healthy experiences and use them when you need it the most. Compartmentalizing your negative and positive thoughts to counter your fear will level out the situation.

In Conclusion

At the end of the day, when everything is said and done, it’s only you who can stop fear from achieving your full potential. Fear is the number one enemy that prevents you from becoming confident and successful. In Peter McWilliams words, “To overcome fear, here’s all you have to do: realize the fear is there, and do the action you fear anyway.” Are you now ready to be the best version of yourself?

20-something millennial who found passion and purpose in digital marketing.