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Difference Between Being Nice “Girl” and Being People-Pleasing

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The meaning of the mean and nice girls has always been popular, even in the pop cultures, for example, Mary Ann and Ginger, Betty and Veronica and so forth.
But today, things have changed a lot. Women’s are always collaborating and supporting each other, instead of competing.

Fran Hauser, former president of digital Times Inc. and start-up investor, discusses the girl’s notion in her new book. She questions if we need to leverage a tough girls character to be a successful woman.

In her book, she is trying to explain the common of being a nice girl.

Self-promotion can also be performed with humility
Taking credit for your work is an art, not just you have to take the credits of your work, you do need to ensure that you are humble, and inclusive while in it.
For example, at one page of the book, she adds and suggests that while promoting yourself on social media, be what you are. Being authentic is the key.

People pleasing should not be confused with being nice
Just because you are people-pleasing doesn’t ensure that you are a nice person. Pleasing people requires a complex persona and sometime will even make you lie or manipulate. And, it certainly doesn’t make you nice.

For example, in her context on the office-work environment, being afraid to give true feedback (even if being bad) doesn’t imply that you are a nice person, or you are nice. Or, lying to your boss just to please him/her is not the kind of attire of being nice.

Being sorry for everything is not good
We were taught as a child to say ‘sorry’ for every mistake we ever did. But, we should consider the fact that saying sorry in every matter implies that we are doing injustice to ourselves only. Sorry makes us weak at few points. For example, at certain points, even if we are right, we try to avoid the scene with our senior in offices by saying sorry. But, do we apologize? No, we do not.

Learn to say no while being kind
Consider an instance where we are asked to perform a work by our Boss in office, even if we are indulged and wired up with a different kind of work. So should we say kindly answer yes, or straightforwardly reject the request?

Helping others has some certain boundaries. And, we must learn to say ‘No,’ but we must be kind at the same time. According to the author ‘Hauser’ of ‘The myth of the nice girl,’ here’s how to sound kind while saying No: Instead of directly saying ‘No,’ try saying, ‘I’m afraid I can’t accept that, but here’s what I can offer….’

Being ‘Nice’ implies understanding the feeling of other and taking the appropriate action
Nice sounds like a very simple word, right? But, it has a deep meaning and is much more than being kind or helpful. According to the author, being a nice person implies that you are empathetic, collaborative and have the required confidence.

Nice is more like a combination of strength and kindness, and when you do learn to apply both at the same time, you are more likely to be a successful person.

Being ‘Nice’ will lead you to a long-term win
If you are genuinely nice and leads the show with understanding and gratitude, you get to build a relationship. And, it ultimately helps you to develop a working relationship in the workplaces, and people will like to work with you.

So always try being a confident, understanding, assertive and grateful person to win the hearts and kindness of people around you, because this is what helps us to build a relationship that stands forever.

Chris is an American journalist, author, contributing editor to BuzzFeed. He was raised in New York, Canada, and Vermont, and attended New York University.

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